First Day of School

Today my babies started school. Laila went to Kindergarten and Devan is in 2nd grade! I was so emotional this morning!

Devan said he was nervous. Laila said she want to know her friends in her class. She checked, double checked, and triple checked that I would be there to pick her up. (Just today-after that they will ride the daycare van)

I cried as I pulled out of the parking lot of school. I cried because my baby is in kindergarten. I cried because my baby is in 2nd grade and gave me the biggest hug when I left his classroom. I cried because I miss my Granny on this important day. I would have in the past called and told her how the "drop off" went as I have done every year since Devan was in Kindergarten. It is an adjustment that I am not taking easy. There are so many first this month that she isn't here for.

Here is Devan and Laila after eating a yummy breakfast before leaving for the big day!

Laila ready to go. First day of Kindergarten, age 4

Walking up to the school.

Outside the school

A whole new world has happened today.... 2 kids in school and 2 kids with homework, Cheaper daycare (before and after school!)

I miss my "babies" already!

Laila

I feel overwhelmed. My baby starts kindergarten on Monday. I'm sad. I know (hope) she will be okay. I will be taking Devan and Laila to school and picking them up on Monday. ( I took the whole day off) I am going to take lots of pictures. I can't believe my baby girl is going to be in school. It seems like yesterday I was bringing her home. She will be 4 still when schools starts and there are children in her class that turn 6 a week later! So, she is a YOUNG kindergartner as her birthday isnt until a few days after school starts. Pics to come on Monday after I wipe my, i mean, her eyes! =(

My Granny... with Jesus for 6 months

I must admit i was going to write this yesterday but i had a horrible day. It really hit me hard yesterday when I woke up. I cried in the shower. I cried on the way to work. I cried at work. I cried at home. I cried before bed. Needless to say, I cried a lot!

I miss my granny so bad. Her death has impacted me so much in so many ways. It was hard yesterday. She has been gone half-of-one year. I don't want time to go forward because it is longer since the time I last spoke to her. She was my friend. I am having a hard time dealing with her death. I can't seem to grasp it. I want her here with me. This is a really hard month due to the fact that Devan and Laila both have birthdays and Laila starts kindergarten. I always call and tell granny how the day went. I tell her the minute I drop them off.

I have always loved this poem and is the last few months I have read it over and over. It is one of my favorites!

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

Sends chills day my spine when I read it.

Devan's 8th Birthday

Devan turned 8 years old! (im a little late at blogging) We had a great time! We went to Big Kahunas and Fat Daddy's Pizza and Arcade. We had a little get together for cake and ice cream. I can't believe my baby boy is 8.


Devan and Grandpa!

At Big kahunas

((I'll post more pics later)))

Dear Devan,

Eight years ago. Eight years ago my life was forever changed. I can not imagine not having you in my life. You're senstive ways, funny laugh, goofy sense of humor and adorable personality make me love you whole-heartedly. You and I have been through ups and downs together. We have been through some emotional rollar coasters. I cherish you and will live my life protecting and loving you. I love you more than words and will be here for you for the rest of my life. I know you will go far in life. Your "love to clean" attitude and willing to help out will make a women happy someday. She will be the lucky one! I love you baby! You will always be a baby boy and hold a special place in my heart. You are a mamas boy! Happy Birthday!!!!!!

Footprints

My babies. We had a great time today. We played outside, played in the sandbox, went to the pool. Went to IHop to eat breakfast. We had a great time.

Here is the kids playing in the sandbox....Devan loves it! He loves all things that deal with dirt I do believe

Over the weekend we celebrated my sister, Stephanie's 30 birthday. We went to Pensacola and rode Go-Carts and ate at a Indian resturant. We had a great time. Great family time.

Last Thursday was Devans last day of school. He is going to 2nd grade! I cried. I cried so bad on the way home. I couldn't control it. I pulled out his report card and the first thought that came to my head was, "I need to call Granny!!" I call her every year on that day. I called her last year on that day and told her Devan was gonna repeat 1st grade. Her words that day to me... "Devan is a smart little boy. He just needs to learn it one more time and he will get it. He'll get it April. Not everyone learns the same pace. He'll get it."

I wanted to hear her words on this last day of school. I never thought in a million years she would die before this school year was over! I miss her. I know I say that every post but I do. So bad I do. There are so many first that I want her here for. I cry a lot. I sometimes need her reassurance during difficult times or just to "hear me out"

Through difficult times, through times at work, at home, or with the kids I always know that God is with me. At times I find when I pray I'll say "say hi to my Granny!" LOL

A poem that is one of my favorites has really helped me lately. I find it comforting.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was
walking along the beach
with the Lord.
Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
and he
noticed two sets of footprints
in the sand, one belonging to him
and the
other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life had flashed
before him, he recalled that at the lowest and
saddest times of his life
there was only one
set of footprints. Dismayed, he asked,
"Lord, you
said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
I don't understand why, when I needed you most,
you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious child. I love you
and I would never
leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering
when you saw only
one set of footprints...
That was when I carried you."

3 months and Laila Graduated Pre-school (VPK)

Its been 3 months today. I can't believe it. I can't believe that my Granny has been gone for 3 months. It seems so unreal. It really seems as though she is on a little vacation and will be back soon. It doesn't seem permanent.
It isn't permanent really. I will see her again and she will be "up and about" as Devan says. I miss her terribly. I miss her more and more everyday!

Laila graduated from VPK yesterday. It was so emotional on so many levels. She is my baby nad will be going to kindergarten in August! I wanted Granny there. I cried during parts of the ceremony!

Mother's Day 2011

Another month

It's difficult. We have enterd another month. Today is May 1st....
Granny passed in February. Its still hard. Hard to know time is getting farther in between my last time with her.
It takes a lot of strength to not break down and cry. Sometimes that strength fails me. It hurts the same as it did. It just doesn't hurt every moment of everyday.

Psalms 119:28 "My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word."